11-29-09 | Shopping at JC Penney, Vodka, Facebook, sober Whitney is not fun, Mariah, bubble bath story
MP3 File
11/30/2009
11/29/2009
Sitting on a Toilet
Why would anyone make a video of theyselves doing this? I find this offensive and embarrassing. Perhaps she lost a bet or has low selves esteem. Either way, she wrong for this. But its funny please.
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Facebook | Twitter | Email | Podcast in iTunes | Blog RSS
11/23/2009
11/19/2009
Listen at me: Ray Ray and the Jew Woman
(11-19-09) Oh my God did I do a podcast episode? After all these months? Yes, yes I did please. Opening song called P***y Boys, fire ants, Dreamgirls at Apollo, Drunk Lady Raptastic and white friend sing "Silver Bells" in subway station, freestyle rap, Ray Ray and the Jew Woman (MP3 File)
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Facebook | Twitter | Email | Podcast in iTunes | Blog RSS
11/14/2009
Nell Carter is not dead, please!
11/12/2009
Mayor makes me proud to be a women please
I got this link below from Cheryl Merkowksi, please.
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iTunes | RSS | Facebook | MySpace | VM: 912-CAT-LYKA | Email
10/24/2009
Popsicle phone sex
I got me a popsicle for breakfast from the bodega and ran into a man I had anal with a year ago name G. I exchange the digits and went about my way. A few minutes later he call my ass wanting to hit it this afternoon. Since I am on my period I said no because of my period. He said ok and proceeded to ask me if I could do phone sex with him. I did, still chompin on my popsicle. What a way to start yo day please. Only in my life do these thangs happen please. I got me a new job down the block aways at Tito's Market. They small and do groceries and birthday cakes. I decorate the cakes. So far I did three wedding cakes and a Quinciera cake. That one was my favorite because it was pink. I pretended it was for Mariah Carey's quinciera, so I made it extra special and took my time. The parents was real happy and gave me a $5 tip. Hello.
So I have been watching Wendy Williams new tv show, but at the gym on the stairmaster thang. I can watch it but I can't hear it. They got 5 tvs up in they, and none of them have sound. I can only read the words on the screen telling me what they saying. I ignore the words and just stare at her wig. Every day a new wig, and they all look fake as hell. Is she bald? Why not pull a Tyra and go natural please? And speaking of hair, I cannot WAIT to see that "Good Hair" movie.
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10/07/2009
Listen at me read Frances Bean Cobain's letter to Ali Lohan
I recorded myselves doing an artistic interpretation of the tweet that Frances Bean Cobain sent to Ali Lohan about fame after reading about it on Perez Hilton. Here is the mp3 and below is the player with the text of the open letter below it. Read along and enjoy.
Listen:
Read Along:
"This is my open letter to Ali Lohan.
Your not entitled to anything simply because your sister has a recognizable name. Your idea of fame isn't fame. It's infamy. You want to be famous? Work your ass off and make decisions that could potentially catapult your career into a lasting one. Notariety for who you are and notaritey for the work you produce are two completely differnt things. I understand that you have been brought up in an envirtoment where the idea of fame is easily achievable but, that's not an excuse. You lack the talent, social understanding and credibility to be anything other then infamous. Your careere choices, thus far, will transcend a future career as someone who attempted to be famous, but never quite achieved it. And if you do, it will be the formality of fame that puts you on the covers of tabloids, while the public idly watches you plumit into the murky abyss shared with the likes of Spencer Pratt & Jon Gosslin who, i'm sure, will steal your money whilst there. Fortunately for the world, there are people who have and don't have recognizable names, who have obtained artistic integrity and will one day, hopefully, bring that tangible artisticness into light again. Though, its hard to think thats achievable when people like You ali lohan are rendering the world of true talent by attempting to make your entitled ass noticed. How is this fair to the people who HAVE artistic integrity, or a mind? How is it fair to those who truly have something to offer the human race other then a dwindling last name and a few shitty films, both of which, solidified the idea that your just a celebrities sibling. I recognize that i might come across as harsh and no, i don't personally know you, but its the actions that you take, that speak for you. You blatently don't care how your recognized, its the objective to get famous and that is what makes you replaceable and a recycled idea .Well, im ashamed to have to be grouped into the same category of person as you. I would rather die a most painful death the be assoicated with the kind of careere your trying to make for your self. I hope i'm wrong because generally i'm not a very judgmental person, but in the case of you, that is MY entitlement."
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Listen:
Read Along:
"This is my open letter to Ali Lohan.
Your not entitled to anything simply because your sister has a recognizable name. Your idea of fame isn't fame. It's infamy. You want to be famous? Work your ass off and make decisions that could potentially catapult your career into a lasting one. Notariety for who you are and notaritey for the work you produce are two completely differnt things. I understand that you have been brought up in an envirtoment where the idea of fame is easily achievable but, that's not an excuse. You lack the talent, social understanding and credibility to be anything other then infamous. Your careere choices, thus far, will transcend a future career as someone who attempted to be famous, but never quite achieved it. And if you do, it will be the formality of fame that puts you on the covers of tabloids, while the public idly watches you plumit into the murky abyss shared with the likes of Spencer Pratt & Jon Gosslin who, i'm sure, will steal your money whilst there. Fortunately for the world, there are people who have and don't have recognizable names, who have obtained artistic integrity and will one day, hopefully, bring that tangible artisticness into light again. Though, its hard to think thats achievable when people like You ali lohan are rendering the world of true talent by attempting to make your entitled ass noticed. How is this fair to the people who HAVE artistic integrity, or a mind? How is it fair to those who truly have something to offer the human race other then a dwindling last name and a few shitty films, both of which, solidified the idea that your just a celebrities sibling. I recognize that i might come across as harsh and no, i don't personally know you, but its the actions that you take, that speak for you. You blatently don't care how your recognized, its the objective to get famous and that is what makes you replaceable and a recycled idea .Well, im ashamed to have to be grouped into the same category of person as you. I would rather die a most painful death the be assoicated with the kind of careere your trying to make for your self. I hope i'm wrong because generally i'm not a very judgmental person, but in the case of you, that is MY entitlement."
iTunes | RSS | Facebook | MySpace | VM: 912-CAT-LYKA | Email
10/04/2009
Mondavi is dancing in the Isotopes
10/02/2009
Moment in Racism: Top 60 Black Ghetto Names video
10/01/2009
Lady Gaga cancels tour with Kanye West and 50 Cent calls the whole thang "gay"
So Kanye and Gaga were supposed to embark on the very first multi-racial musical tour ever in the history of music. But then Kanye shit-slapped Taylor Dane at the VMAs, then 50 Cent called the tour "The Gay Tour" and now, the tour is cancelled. I was scheduled to be a t-shirt vendor in Miami, Detroit and Vietnam, but I just got word that my contract has been torn up and the paycheck I made while training for this gig has been canceled. Don't cry over spilled milk I say. So, I am going to the club to get drunk and bring me home a man to forget this whole mess.
iTunes | RSS | Facebook | MySpace | VM: 912-CAT-LYKA | Email
iTunes | RSS | Facebook | MySpace | VM: 912-CAT-LYKA | Email
9/30/2009
9/01/2009
Persnickety and Madge
7/23/2009
Listen to the radio like its 1992
I am going to be on the radio LIVE this Friday night, July 25, 2009, 9pm EST on 104.1 WTKS. You have to listen, ho. Chris will be on, too.
MP3 File
MP3 File
7/19/2009
Ask Raptastic- a sample
Me and Chris is made this little "demo" for the SBK Live radio show on 104.1. I hope they like it.
MP3 File
MP3 File
7/13/2009
Dead Michael makes Mariah sink bad
7-14-09: Send in your original mp3s of songs and comedy skits, comments and what not to ladyraptastic@gmail.com, follow me on twitter.com/helloplease, and on facebook at facebook.com/ladyraptastic.
MP3 File
MP3 File
7/12/2009
Lady and Cheryl and D String Lullaby
Remember to send in yo own original mp3s of songs and comedy skits and what not to ladyraptastic at gmail dot com, folllow me on twitter at twitter.com slash hello please, and on facebook. at facebook dot come slash layraptastic. The song "D String Lullaby" was written and performer by two white listeners named Chris Freeman and Chris Willis. You can find more music from them at youtube.com/user/CFreemanActor.
MP3 File
MP3 File
7/03/2009
Tears for Michael live event
MP3 File
For Immediate Release July 3, 2009
Contact: Linda Cocksmouth, LadyRaptastic@gmail.com
"Tears for Michael- Am Orlando Tribute to the King"
Blacks-only Lake Eola Michael Jackson tribute
B.L.A.A.D.D.E. civic group (Black Ladies of African American Descent Dying Excessively) is inviting all people of color (black only please) to pay tribute to Michael Jackson at Lake Eola Park. Citizens are invited to gather around the perimeter of Lake Eola starting at 7pm on July 14, 2009. They will paint their faces white in tribute to Michael Jackson Makeup and applicators not provided. Then they will hold hands with each other, making a link of people around the entire lake, listen to "Heal the World" play from seven speakers in seven of the swan boats in the lake, and then at the end of song, at the same time, they will all break their noses. For Michael. White people not allowed to participate, no offense. They can watch from their cars.
Produced By: B.L.A.A.D.D.E. (Black Ladies of African American Descent Dying Excessively)
Date: Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Time: 7:00pm - 8:00pm
Facebook Event Page: http://digg.com/u17Hes
Lady Raptastic:
-Podcast http://bit.ly/4TfCw
-Facebook profile http://bit.ly/6gw6P
-Twitter http://bit.ly/vBshm
-Email ladyraptastic@gmail.com
7/02/2009
Meet Wayne. (He is no Chris please)
Wayne speaks with me about black vs white pubic hair, having sex with 9 year old black map-making pirates, 2-second lag time, look at the Ladys pubic hair, Wayne is a rapist.
MP3 File
MP3 File
6/29/2009
Black Ladies of African American Descent Dying Excessively pay tribute to dead Michael Jackson July 14, 2009
6/26/2009
3/21/2009
1/05/2009
1/03/2009
Two sets of nine-year old twins
Show notes please (14:56) I went to my friend Guana's friend Toenail's birthday at Club Rococo which was packed to the rafters with black people and two slutty white girls (which I am always jealous of). Guana got two sets of nine year old twins (from nine possible WHITE baby daddies she did a gang bang with) who are not in school cuz she Christian. Obama Bin Laden's wife IS ugly. Halle Barry has white people shoulder. Duane Reade is not Wal Mart. When women cannot take care of they babies, they give them to charity. You ever seen a photo of Santa Claus naked? (Download the mp3)
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1/02/2009
Cardio-arithmatic & muscle relaxing
Show notes please: (11:09) I have to go where the white people are since they are my audience, so I now have a Facebook page. Shave the dead skin off your feet. The new year is a new shoe and you have to put it on your foot. Have some HIV-poitive thought: (a) I can be a new person, (b) I can lose weight or (c) I will not get so drunk that I have multiple rape charges against myself brought upon me by the many men up in my neighborhood, please. Merry Christmas everybody. I am not a prophet. My tongue gets exercise.
My resolutions for the new year: I am going on a new exercise regime: cardio-arithmatic and heart palpatating muscle relaxing. I will feed myself nutritionally: I will save up and go to the white people grocery store. 3. Hula hoop to strengthen my gut. 4. I will spend more time with my friends, but not my family. (I will join the African American Ladies Knitting League.) 5. I will plant a tree a day. (Download the mp3)
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